The most honorable and civil Grand Duchess

Patron goddess of the clan McEtiquette

The Grand Duchess is the patron goddess of clan McEtiquette as well as the creator and protector of civility (symbolized by a hat and pair of white gloves), manners (symbolized by a correctly placed fork), literature and library science (symbolized by a copy of Pride and Prejudice), tea (symbolized by a Royal Albert Old Country Roses tea cup), and music (symbolized by a cello).

The Grand Duchess does in fact have an opposing force They-of-the-Great-Unwashed; whose table manners are, to say the least, greatly lacking.

The story of her origins goes thusly: when the orders of chaos started getting a little less chaotic then the ensuing order looked around and thought, “Someone really ought to clean up this mess.” And so the order began sweeping the rest of the chaos into tidy little piles, and thus sprung the planets and stars. And when order was finished it looked down at its once spotless white gloves and noticed that, while one was still clean as ever, the other was filthy and covered in chaos. Order discarded both its gloves and thus The Grand Duchess and They-of-the-Great-Unwashed sprung into being.

            There were many battles fought between The Grand Duchess and They-of-the-Great-Unwashed, and after many years The Grand Duchess’ strength began to wan in the face of the huge number of followers They-of-the-Great-Unwashed had amassed. So the Grand Duchess created from herself the clan of McEtiquette. She instructed them in the ways of civility, the proper usage of the fork, the civilized delights of Jane Austen, and the gifts of rational thought and wisdom. And she told unto them, “Listen carefully, my children, for I shall only say this once. Here in the duchy of McEtiquette you shall stay and guard the treasures which I have given and taught you. Someday the strength of The Great Unwashed shall wan as my strength has, and the age of Civility will rise once more. Everyday at four o’clock sharp you will perform the ritual of civility to help you remember. Now, fill your libraries with information, catalog them as I have taught you and spread unto the world the grace and dignity of manners